i miss missing him

So here's something a little crazy that I'd thought I would never say... I miss the drive to Penn State...
I know, crazy! It was a scent that triggered it; I was in the kitchen of my job waiting for my food (corn beef & white rice) to warm up when it reminded me of the times I cooked in Jorge's tiny little kitchen at State College. Then I started to think about the little things that I failed to appreciate at the time, such as the 3.5 hour drive alone, the mini dates, studying in the lounge, exploring campus, even if we walked it 20 times, and the ice cream dates. I know, how can I possibly miss driving 3.5 hours there and back? But it's not the drive that I miss, it was my time to myself, my thoughts, singing my heart out with no one around to judge my high pitched voice and the Wawa stops. It was also the moment I calmed myself down from a crazy week before I'd reached Jorge.

Although I had time to myself during the week, it was different. During the week I had responsibilities such as work, school, helping around the house and running constant errands. The weekend is something everyone looks forward to because it's the time you have for yourself, at least for most of us. For two years, every weekend, I drove to Penn State. So yeah, I'm sure I was bound to miss it. The excitement I felt in my stomach as I drove closer to Jorge. I also miss missing his hugs, his scents and his retarded humor; it was something to look forward to. Not saying that I'm not grateful to have him home now, but there is something different about it that's hard to describe. It just more incentives to the weekends. But I also thought about the fact that I have to readjust to having Jorge around all the time. I miss missing him because that's all I did for two years, I missed him.

Now that we are living together again, we are starting to go back to our old ways before he moved to State College. Things won't ever be like they were once before... because we've changed. We grew apart a little; he learned to cook and clean while I learned to control my emotions and gain independence. We changed in other ways, but none for the worst I say. But from now on we'll grow together and take with us what we've learned from when we were apart. Crazy that all of this came from a mere scent. It was nice to be reminded.